Tuesday, March 31, 2015

10 Negara Paling Berbahaya Bagi Perempuan

http://citizen6.liputan6.com/read/2156899/10-negara-paling-berbahaya-bagi-perempuan?p=0


Citizen6, Jakarta Kekerasan terhadap perempuan, kesehatan yang buruk, dan kemiskinan adalah beberapa alasan utama yang membuat negara-negara berikut berbahaya bagi perempuan. Perempuan kerap dilecehkan dan diperlakukan buruk di negara-negara ini. Apa saja negara-negara yang berbahaya bagi perempuan?
10. Mexico
Sebenarnya merupakan negara yang indah. Hanya saja, negara ini tidak terlalu aman bagi perempuan. Meksiko mempunyai tingkat kejahatan yang tinggi. Para mafia narkoba dan dealer menjadi gangguan utama bagi perempuan yang berkunjung ke sini. Jika anda adalah orang asing, anda harus siap untuk mendapatkan banyak tatapan dari penduduk lokal. Meski demikian, jika anda bersikap wajar, anda tak akan diganggu oleh penduduk setempat.
9. Nigeria
Nigeria adalah negara dengan bias gender yang cukup parah. Kekerasan dalam rumah tangga sangat umum terjadi di negara ini. Dua dari tiga perempuan Nigeria mengatakan mereka menjadi korban kekerasan dalam rumah tangga. Polisi Nigeria pun terlalu korup untuk membantu mereka. Perempuan Nigeria banyak yang dipukuli, diperkosa, dilecehkan baik secara mental, seksual, dan psikologis oleh laki-laki di negara ini.
8. Kolombia
Kekerasan dan agresivitas sangat umum terjadi di Kolombia. Kasus kekerasan dalam rumah tangga serta kekerasan seksual meningkat pesat di Kolombia. Sekitar 41% dari perempuan berusia 15 sampai 49 tahun menjadi korban kekerasan seksual yang dilakukan pasangannya. 95% kasus kekerasan dalam rumah tangga tak dilaporkan. Kekerasan terhadap perempuan pengungsi bahkan lebih tinggi.
7. Yaman
Meski mempunyai wilayah geografis yang indah, beberapa suku dan organisasi membuat tempat ini berbahaya bagi perempuan. Bom mobil dan perang antara pemberontak dengan pemerintah kerap menyasar kaum perempuan. Kasus kekerasan seksual dan pemerkosaan sangat umum terjadi di Yaman.
6. Pakistan
Kebebasan perempuan dibatasi di negara ini. Di Pakistan, perempuan tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa tanpa izin dari ayah, saudara, atau suaminya. Kekerasan, pemerkosaan dan pembunuhan terhadap perempuan kerap terjadi di Pakistan. Ketidakpekaan polisi dan pemerintah membuat perempuan rentan terhadap kejahatan di negara ini. Dan bila kasus yang menimpa perempuan di bawa ke ranah pengadilan, hakim kerap memperlakukan mereka dengan tidak hormat.
5. Sudan
Kekejaman di Sudan bagian Barat sudah sangat terkenal. Beberapa kelompok kerap membunuh kelompok serta ras lain secara bebas. Menurut statistik dari Save the Children, Sudan merupakan negara paling berbahaya bagi ibu hamil. Setiap tahun, hampir 5000 bayi meninggal beberapa jam setelah mereka dilahirkan akibat pengobatan yang payah.
4. Afghanistan
Awalnya perempuan bebas untuk bekerja dan mendapatkan pendidikan yang layak di negara ini. Namun ketika Taliban berkuasa, hak mereka dibatasi. Perempuan tidak diperbolehkan meninggalkan rumah tanpa ditemani anggota laki-laki dari keluarga mereka. kondisi kesehatan yang buruk juga membuat kehamilan dan kelahiran anak menjadi berbahaya bagi perempuan Afghanistan. Gadis-gadis muda dilaporkan dipaksa untuk menikah atau bahkan diculik dan diperkosa selama perang yang terjadi di negara ini.
3. Somalia
Para perempuan di Somalia menjalani kehidupan yang sengsara. Hamil adalah ketakutan terbesar mereka. Dengan tidak adanya fasilitas medis, kelahiran seorang bayi sering mendatangkan kematian. Mereka juga takut diperkosa atau bahkan dimutilasi. 95% dari anak perempuan antara usia 4 sampai 15 adalah korban kekerasan.
2. Irak
Gerakan perempuan sangat dibatasi di negara ini. Hak asasi perempuan kerap dilanggar. Beberapa perempuan yang dimasukkan penjara, dibiarkan mendekam tanpa bertemu hakim atau pengadilan. Petugas pun kerap menyetrum dan memperkosa perempuan dengan tujuan memaksa mereka mengakui kejahatan.
1. Suriah
Sejak perang yang berlangsung dari tahun 2011, kasus pemerkosaan dan kekerasan seksual terhadap perempuan meningkat drastis di negara ini. 80% kasus kekerasan seksual menimpa perempuan di negara ini dengan korban kelompok usia antara 7-49 tahun. Pemerkosaan digunakan di Suriah sebagai alat penghinaan, balas dendam, dan intimidasi selama perang saudara. Banyak warga negara yang melarikan diri ke negara tetangga karena tak tahan dengan kekerasan yang terjadi di negaranya.

Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Tale of a Grown-up Rabbit

by: Januarsyah Katz

The snow fell onto the grass, freezing and relentless. Yet, I stood still and sobbed. From afar, I witnessed humans were cutting down a fir tree which was of importance to me; it was my mother’s home.
She was a caring mother; a single parent who would do anything for her babies. Underneath the poor tree, she took care of me and my three siblings. Sadly, they were dead right now; a cruel wife of a farmer had put them in pies; just like what she did to my father. Those innocent rabbits didn’t behave badly as one might suggest, they were just being nostalgic.
One day, my happily-married siblings and I visited our kind mother; we missed her very much! After lunch, I felt sick as I ate too much and mother gave me a cup of herbal tea. She coaxed me to stay home and rest, before she and my siblings went down the lane to gather blackberries. No rabbit knew that the land had been bought by the farmer and he set up vicious traps all over the place. WHACK, WHACK, WHACK and WHACK! Spiky metal tore their flesh and kept my injured family there until the farmer came to thrust them into a sack. The ground was sprinkled with blackberries and red with their blood.
My cousin, Benji, had a plan to avenge the death of my sister who was also his dear wife but it didn’t take place as his house was buldozed by a gigantic vehicle. The brave rabbit was inside, resting. He died along with some of his children; their bodies were flat and their intestines sprouted out. At that time, lots of rabbits’ houses were destroyed and all remaining rabbits, including the rest of Benji’s children, had escaped to the unknown areas of the forest, risking their own lives of being eaten by predators.
I stayed; perhaps because I was confused and sad, and after I witnessed my mother’s home being destroyed. I decided to go to the farmer’s garden.
“Don’t go to the farmer’s garden,” my mother would say when she was alive. Before she gave the warning, I knew it’s forbidden to go to that particular area as there were signs along the fence which read, “No entry for those who have no right”. All I knew, my family supposed to have all the rights; my father found that fertile land first! Unlike my siblings, I preferred to break an unfair rule. I squeezed into the farmer’s enclosure and gobbled some lettuces, French beans and radishes. It tasted weird; it must be because of the pesticide he sprayed to get rid of pests. It made me feel rather sick. When I was about to leave, the farmer spotted me. He tried his best to catch me but I was faster and smarter than him; I escaped from the old man after a tiresome run.
“This time,” I thought, “I won’t run. I would do whatzever it takes to avenge the lives of my family.”
One jump at a time, I got closer to the farmer’s house. I dismissed the temptation to visit the new glass houses and eat some fresh vegetable which were protected from the cold snow. The wooden door was newly varnished; it looked shiny but the smell was extremely awful. The farmer’s house had become bigger than the first time I saw it; just like the size of his land; just like the size of his vegetables and fruits; just like the size of his chickens and pigs. Those chickens and pigs were so fat, they had difficulties walking!
When I reached the door, I kicked it with my hind legs at once, thinking about the pies in which my parents and my siblings were put in. I kicked once more, thinking about poor Benji and his children. I kicked it some more, thinking about the life full of resentment and the bleak future I had. I was about to cry before the faint click was heard; someone would catch me!
“This time,” I thought, “I wouldn’t run. They had destroy my house and killed my family and I will do just the same!”
A pretty girl appeared from the back of the door; I had never seen her before. I jumped and kicked her leg furiously. She was shocked and screamed. I got in and ready to attack more people in the house. As I didn’t see anyone, I jumped upon expensive chinas until they fell into pieces; pushed some vintage photograph frames from the tables; defacated on the sofas and the dining table; bumped on every dishes in sight so they would break on the floor! The house was a mess but I didn’t destroy it.
Realizing that I had no capability in bringing down a house, I jumped onto the floor and about to leave the house and reconsider about destroying this house. But round the dining table, whom should I meet but the old farmer himself. My worst adversary.
“You thief,” he said angrily.
I knew I might not have the ability to kill a person; but that didn’t put me down. I would not run away from this wicked farmer. He had to pay for what he had done; I kicked him as hard as I could on his right leg. He screamed as his old and ill leg could be easily hurt. When he fell on his knees, I jumped higher onto his shoulder and kicked his right face. His glasses fell and broke into pieces! I was convinced that I could kill the old man.
Suddenly, everything was dark. Someone came up with a sieve and caught me.
“Now you can’t go anywhere, wicked rabbit!” said the Farmer’s wife, “I’m going to put you in a pie and eat you with my granddaughter!”
On the contrary of what you think, I had predicted that I would end up in a pie. In fact, I was ready to die; what a lonely rabbit could do in such a cruel world? Undoubtedly, the afterlife would be more joyful as I certainly would meet my parents and siblings; and, perhaps the fig tree. We would once again live in a comfortable house happily.
***
“Were you put in a pie?”
“No, of course. I could not tell you this story if I was dead,” I explain.
“Then what happened, father?” asks one of my children, Daisy. She and her brothers jump around my body which has become as fat as the chickens and the pigs. Breathing is no longer an easy task for me and my wife because of the high amount of fat in our body.
“The little girl cried and did not want to eat a rabbit pie. She said that she would like to have me as her pet. After a long discussion, the farmer and his wife agreed to give me as a present to her and put me in this jail. From that moment, they never let me out. I was desperate and lonely, that girl gave me abundant amount of food and cleaned this jail twice a week but none of those made me happy. I kicked the fence as often as possible, not to get out, but to beg anyone to put me in a pie. No one ever did. Instead, the girl captured your mother and imprisoned her with me. Your mother was also furious and sad; she was separated from her family in the wood. At first, we were too busy kicking the fence to introduce ourselves but then we mated as it was impossible to neglect one’s biological needs. Then, the three of you were born. Here. In this very jail.”
“It’s not a jail, Father,” says Blacknose, “it’s called a cage!”
“Then it’s happily ever after, right? You found a new home and a new family!” exclaims Little Benji. He jumps up and down excitedly. I cringe. Inspite of my story, to these children this cage happen to be their home.
I hear a pitter-patter at length; that girl will come very soon. Precisely, the teenage girl appears from the back of the door and approached the cage. My children are excited to greet her; they think she is the saviour. She opens the door of the cage and let my children out to play. She doesn’t let me and my wife out even once, as she thinks we will run away. Stupid girl. Do we even have the ability to do that? I’m too old to lift my fat body, so is my wife.
I overhear their happy voices through the window. Poor children; It is very hard for them to understand that they have surrendered their mind to their worst enemy. Slaves, yes, they have become slaves. I have to be frank with you that end of the story is not very jolly, but in my view, this is what it is: my wife and I, are sentenced for life for remaining angry. Our ability to live in the wild has been stripped as we have depended our lives for so long to species that have killed our loved ones. My children, though, they will probably retell my tale with their own perspective. Perhaps their children will be familiar with this ending: finally, the grown-up rabbit found a new home and a new family. Together these imprisoned bunnies will think that I lived happily ever after, as they think all of them are.

Friday, February 27, 2015

What life means to Indonesian Transgender


People who live in Indonesia, especially in Jakarta have earned amount of money in many ways, they could become for example as parking attendants, peddlers, beggars, buskers, or prostitutes. Selling sex is not only made up primarily of men or women, because transgender people could be a part of it.
Why do transgender/transsexual people tend to involve in sex work? Of course because there are limited access in formal workplace who want to take them in, even though they might have ability to work. For example transgender women, their presence is often related to informal job like beauty salons, bridal make-up artists, or model. Some of transgender/transsexual people, however, have ability to work in the office, instead of to primp, so why then don’t give them a chance?
Can you imagine to live in a society where religion is most likely as the moral frame of reference for whatever you do, and then being a transgender usually considered a sin. Consequently, it will affect their lives and will be uprooted their rights. So, their lives without job and decent education. Therefore, most of them to sacrifice their bodies for men’s desires which some of their guests are hypocrites – insulting the existence of transgender people, but at the same time are attracted to them behind the cloak.
Yes, we have to admit that prostitution has been around before divine religions growth. Many tragic and touching stories, however, have happened by someone who struggles to sell their bodies sexually, it is barely no exception towards transgender people who may have had no opportunity to get a job in the formal workplace.
International programme and organisation such as UNDP, HIVOS, and others, in which ways most of job description offered by them still need to know how far representative of transgender people being part of their programme? Possibly gay and lesbian are most likely to hold important rules in formal workplace, because they don’t have significant problem with their gender identity like transgender do in general. Ironically, when to point out LGBT themes in the public, transgender people or “T” tend to be the only victims targeted by organisational survey. But when will transgender people truly to be part of formal workplace as a professional figure, instead of being an object of the survey?
As a writer myself, I would like to see that transsexual people also have a chance to be politician, the House of Representative (DPR), secretary, or as a doctor or teacher rather than a clown on television. Although some transgender people have educational supports, but if job vacancy are not available or permitted for them is the same thing as zero.
Hence, I think, the Indonesian manpower sector need to enhance job opportunities to be more gender friendly based on diversity of gender. To my knowledge, someone who work in formal sector may use their brain, instead of genital. Except those requirements are the same from prostituting your body in order to earn money.

Friday, January 30, 2015

6 Types of Emotional Abuse by Narcissistic Parents

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/6-types-of-emotional-abuse-by-narcissistic-parents/

ChildAbuseImageWithHand1
1. REJECTING 
Narcissistic Parents or caregivers who display rejecting behavior toward a child will often [purposefully or unconsciously] let a child know, in a variety of ways, that he or she is unwanted. Putting down a child’s worth or belittling their needs is one form these types of emotional abuse may take. Other examples can include telling a child to leave or worse, to get out of your face, calling him names or telling the child that he is worthless, making a child the family scapegoat or blaming him for family/sibling problems. Refusing to talk to or holding a young child as he or she grows can also be considered abuse.
    • constant criticism
    • name-calling
    • telling child he/she is ugly
    • yelling or swearing at the child
    • frequent belittling and use of labels such as “stupid” or “idiot”
    • constant demeaning jokes
    • verbal humiliation
    • constant teasing about child’s body type and/or weight
    • expressing regret the child wasn’t born the opposite sex
    • refusing hugs and loving gestures
    • physical abandonment
    • excluding child from family activities
    • treating an adolescent like he is a child
    • expelling the child from the family
  • not allowing a child to make his own reasonable choices
2. IGNORING 
Adults who have had few of their emotional needs met are often unable to respond to the needs of their children. They may not show attachment to the child or provide positive nurturing. They may show no interest in the child, or withhold affection or even fail to recognize the child’s presence. Many times the parent is physically there but emotionally unavailable. Failing to respond to or interact with your child, consistently, constitutes emotional and psychological abuse.
    • no response to infant’s spontaneous social behaviors
    • failure to pay attention to significant events in child’s life
    • lack of attention to schooling, peers, etc.
    • refusing to discuss your child’s activities and interests
    • planning activities/vacations without including your child
    • not accepting the child as an offspring
    • denying required health care
    • denying required dental care
    • failure to engage child in day to day activities
  • failure to protect child
3. TERRORIZING
Parents who use threats, yelling and cursing are doing serious psychological damage to their children. Singling out one child to criticize and punish or ridiculing her for displaying normal emotions is abusive. Threatening a child with harsh words, physical harm, abandonment or in extreme cases death is unacceptable. Even in jest, causing a child to be terrified by the use of threats and/or intimidating behavior is some of the worst emotional abuse. This includes witnessing, hearing or knowing that violence is taking place in the home.
    • excessive teasing
    • yelling, cursing and scaring
    • unpredictable and extreme responses to a child’s behavior
    • extreme verbal threats
    • raging, alternating with periods of warmth
    • threatening abandonment
    • berating family members in front of or in ear range of a child
    • threatening to destroy a favorite object
    • threatening to harm a beloved pet
    • forcing child to watch inhumane acts
    • inconsistent demands on the child
    • displaying inconsistent emotions
    • changing the “rules of the game”
    • threatening that the child is adopted or doesn’t belong
    • ridiculing a child in public
    • threatening to reveal intensely embarrassing traits to peers
  • threatening to kick an adolescent out of the house
FACT: Children and youth who witness family violence experience all six types of emotional abuse.
4. Isolating
A parent who abuses a child through isolation may not allow the child to engage in appropriate activities with his or her peers; may keep a baby in his or her room, not exposed to stimulation or may prevent teenagers from participating in extracurricular activities. Requiring a child to stay in his or her room from the time school lets out until the next morning, restricting eating, or forcing a child to isolation or seclusion by keeping her away from family and friends can be destructive and considered emotional abuse depending on the circumstances and severity.
    • leaving a child unattended for long periods
    • keeping a child away from family
    • not allowing a child to have friends
    • not permitting a child to interact with other children
    • rewarding a child for withdrawing from social contact
    • ensuring that a child looks and acts differently than peers
    • isolating a child from peers or social groups
    • insisting on excessive studying and/or chores
    • preventing a child from participating in activities outside the home
  • punishing a child for engaging in normal social experiences
5. Corrupting
Parents who corrupt may permit children to use drugs or alcohol, watch cruel behavior toward animals, watch or look at inappropriate sexual content or to witness or participate in criminal activities such as stealing, assault, prostitution, gambling, etc.
Encouraging an underage child to do things that are illegal or harmful is abusive and should be reported.
    • rewarding child for bullying and/or harassing behavior
    • teaching racism and ethnic biases or bigotry
    • encouraging violence in sporting activities
    • inappropriate reinforcement of sexual activity
    • rewarding a child for lying and stealing
    • rewarding a child for substance abuse or sexual activity
    • supplying child with drugs, alcohol and other illegal substances
  • promoting illegal activities such as selling drugs
6. Exploiting
Exploitation can be considered manipulation or forced activity without regard for a child’s need for development. For instance, repeatedly asking an eight-year-old to be responsible for the family’s dinner is inappropriate. Giving a child responsibilities that are far greater than a child of that age can handle or using a child for profit is abusive.
    • infants and young children expected not to cry
    • anger when infant fails to meet a developmental stage
    • a child expected to be ‘caregiver’ to the parent
    • a child expected to take care of younger siblings
    • blaming a child for misbehavior of siblings
    • unreasonable responsibilities around the house
    • expecting a child to support family financially
    • encouraging participation in pornography
  • sexually abusing child or youth
Credit to teach through love. com

Friday, December 19, 2014

Tipe Orang yang Tak Boleh Anda Jadikan Kekasih



VIVALIFE
Apa saja sih, ciri-ciri orang yang tak boleh kita jadikan pasangan?
Jum'at, 19 Desember 2014
Oleh : Ricky Anderson, Dhea Amanda Rustam


VIVAlife - Memiliki perasaan suka pada seseorang adalah hal manusiawi. Namun jika perasaan suka itu jatuh kepada orang yang tidak tepat, apa yang harus dilakukan?
Sebelum memilih kepada siapa Anda akan menjatuhkan rasa, simak informasi berikut, mengenai tanda-tanda orang yang tak boleh disukai, apalagi dijadikan pasangan, menurut laman Eharmony.

Sudah berpasangan

Hal ini yang jangan sampai dilupakan. Jika Anda memiliki perasaan pada seseorang yang sudah berpasangan, ada baiknya perasaan itu dihentikan. Jangan sampai perasaan suka yang tadinya baik, berubah menjadi buruk karena mengorbankan perasaan orang lain.

Gila kerja

Seseorang yang gila kerja pasti akan menempatkan pekerjaan dan segala kesibukannya di urutan pertama. Jika Anda menyimpan perasaan padanya, apakah sanggup jika nantinya harus menjadi nomor dua? Jadi pikirkan lagi baik-baik.

Suka pacaran jarak jauh

Tipe orang yang menyukai berhubungan secara Long Distance Relationship, biasanya tidak bisa menjaga komitmen dalam berhubungan. Karena dalam berhubungan dibutuhkan intensitas bertemu, tidak hanya dengan Anda, tapi juga dengan teman dan keluarga Anda.

Kasar dan pemarah

Jika Anda memiliki rasa suka dengan orang yang mempunyai sifat keras dan kasar, maka Anda sebaiknya berpikir ulang. Karena berhubungan bukan hanya menyangkut masalah perasaan, tapi juga kenyamanan dan keamanan bersama dengan orang yang kita sayang.

Perayu

Tipikal orang seperti ini jelas tidak bisa dijadikan pasangan. Karena ia bisa dengan mudah menebar rayuan gombalnya kepada orang lain, yang nantinya hanya akan menyakiti perasaan dan membuang waktu berharga Anda.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Effects of Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse (On women and Children) - HealthyPlace

Effects of Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse (On women and Children) - HealthyPlace



The long-term effects of domestic violence are far reaching and often devastating for victims – most often women and children. Women and children, who live in an environment where domestic violence commonly occurs, face increased risks because of the tumultuous atmosphere in their lives. Women may develop an impaired ability to nurture their children and contribute to their positive development. Children, whether victims themselves or just witnesses, may withdraw from their parental relationship, suffer seriously delayed or distorted development, and emotional problems.

Effects of Domestic Violence on Women

Effects of domestic violence on women and children are far reaching. Learn about the effects of domestic abuse on domestic violence survivors.The effects of domestic violence on women go beyond the immediate physical injuries they suffer at the hands of their abusers. Frequently, domestic violence survivors suffer from an array of psychosomatic illnesses, eating disorders, insomnia, gastrointestinal disturbances, generalized chronic pain, and devastating mental health problems like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Many abused women find it difficult to function in their daily lives because of the effects of domestic violence. Absences from work, due to injuries or visits to the doctor, often cause them to lose their jobs, making them less able to leave their abusive situations. They may feel ashamed that their partners abuse them, see themselves as unworthy of love, and suffer from a significantly diminished self-perception. Because of their feelings of low self-worth, these women become isolated from friends and family and do not participate in social activities common to others in their demographic.

Domestic Violence and Children

When most people hear or see the phrase, domestic violence and children, they see images of bruised, beaten, burned children in their mind's eye. Certainly, these physical injuries represent immediately visible effects of domestic abuse. But children who only witness domestic violence suffer consequences just as far reaching and devastating as those seen in physically battered children. Studies indicate that children from violent homes, who witness the abuse of their mothers at the hands of their fathers, experience mental health issues similar in intensityand magnitude to those experienced by physically battered children. Similar research shows children, who both witness their fathers abusing their mothers and are themselves battered, suffer the most profound behavioral and emotional distress. Children who grow up in violent households may exhibit a host of adverse behaviors and emotions, including:
  • Become violent themselves in response to threats (in school or at home)
  • Attempt suicide
  • Use drugs and abuse alcohol
  • Develop eating disorders
  • Abuse themselves (i.e. cutting)
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Poor social skills
  • Enter into an abusive relationship later on

Suggestions for Domestic Violence Survivors
Domestic violence survivors need to seek help in coping with the effects of domestic abuse, even if they've left the abuser. Whether it's been days or years since the domestic violence last occurred, domestic abuse survivors can look to their communities for help:
  • Contact a local domestic violence support group
  • Make an appointment with a therapist who specializes in treating domestic violence survivors
  • Create a comprehensive domestic violence safety plan with the help of a victim assistance professional. The plan will include a strategy for getting yourself (and children, if any) to safety during a violent episode as well as a checklist of items to pack when leaving the abusive situation.
  • Consider your legal options. Domestic violence is a crime in all 50 states (Domestic Violence Laws). Your local domestic violence shelter can provide you with information and counseling about your legal rights.
The domestic violence programs in your community will help you whether you choose to stay with the domestic abuser, leave him, or return to him later. Don't delay in getting help for yourself and for your children (if you have any). Once you've gotten assistance and received counseling, you'll feel more equipped to make wise decisions for yourself and your future.